A New Year's lesson from jail.

I really didn't intend to write anything about resolutions for the coming new year, but I had an experience the other day that I want to share that just happens to relate. I dropped by a friend's house on Christmas Eve, and in the course of conversation he described an important principle that's valuable anytime, but especially timely as we look forward to a new year.

My friend does volunteer work at the county jail every Sunday, an experience he loves. Each week he prepares what is essentially a brief Sunday School lesson for inmates who request it. In the minimum security wing the inmates are allowed to assemble in a small room where he presents the lesson and leads group discussions. Prisoners in the maximum security wing are not permitted to gather outside their cells. So he walks down the lonely corridors and knocks on each cell door and asks "church?" through the small sliding opening where conversation can be held. If the inmate says yes, the lesson and discussion is held through the opening in the door. As you might imagine, he has a lot of interesting stories from these experiences. My friend related to me that one conversation gets repeated a lot, and there is a great lesson for both the inmates and all of us. The lesson is about change.

All the inmates, my friend says, want to change. They tell him every week. "When I get out, I'm going to be a better man." No more drugs, stealing, whatever it was that got them in trouble, it's all going to change. OK so far, yet the recidivism rate is over 70%, so there's not much evidence of change going on. So my friend, a compassionate but no-nonsense type, has begun to challenge them, and he could be speaking to all of us when he does. When he hears an inmate promise to change, he immediately asks "what's your plan?" The usual response is "I'm going to stop (doing whatever brought them to jail)." Again the question, "what's your plan?" "How are you planning to stop? What are you going to do differently? What might get in the way?" And so on. Forced to think it through, the inmates agree that they have to be more specific. With a little coaching from my friend, they add "I'll stay away from my former friends and hangouts," and other ideas. In other words, they develop a plan. Changing requires planning. Without a plan, it's just a wish.

Who among us hasn't had the same original idea of the inmates, that we'll change just by saying we will? And then whatever it is, losing weight, a new job, better relationship, a few steps are taken and we fall back into old patterns and habits. No plan, no progress, no success. Whether it's now as we make the usual New Year's resolutions, or next month or six months from now, it's all the same: decide what it is we want to change, our motivation for doing so, the rewards for succeeding, the steps we plan to follow and the method of accountability to get us there. The people I've coached (and one actually was an inmate...another story there) all want to change. They've tried before and it didn't work, and to a person the basic steps of planning were neglected. I have a number of things I want to work on in the coming year, both personally and professionally, and I'm planning the steps right now. Are you?

Watch your language!

One of the great things about being a consultant and having several sales training certifications is that as a consumer, I can spot certain sales techniques a mile away. And if I'm in the mood, I'll call the sales person on what he or she is doing, even naming the specific closing technique and telling them what to do if that one fails (and it will). So much of selling sounds contrived, even attempts at so-called consultative selling, and I wonder if the perpetrators ever think about what they sound like on the receiving end. I mention this because of a sales call I received about a week ago.

I was driving home from an appointment when my cell phone went off. I don't usually take calls when driving and almost never from a number I don't recognize. That day I did. A young man's voice asked if I was Bob Ligget with Corporate Pulse Consulting, I responded yes, and without identifying himself he began to ask me about my day, the time of year and my general health. I finally said that by now I knew the purpose of the call and asked this young man if he would please tell me who he was and who he worked for. Turns out I had dropped a business card in a fishbowl at a business expo I attended here in Salt Lake City a while back, knowing full well about this standard marketing ploy and now I was reaping the consequences.

The voice informed me he was with V Chocolates, a small local boutique chocolate company, but what really got me was his next statement: "We'd like you to consider purchasing our products as you consider your business gifting needs this Christmas season." I stopped him right there. After telling him I buy from V Chocolates every year, I said I may stop this year if he didn't cease and desist from using the word "gifting." He seemed more than a little shocked and tried to tell me what the word meant, in case I didn't grasp the concept. I asked if "gifting" was really on his script and proceeded to tell this now-confused young man that if he expected to be successful in sales he shouldn't use stupid make-believe words that sound "businesslike" to people who don't really understand business. We had a great conversation after that. He had just started phone selling three days before, and rather than get upset and hang up, this young man asked me why I didn't like the word "gifting," what I did in my business and would I give him some advice. Impressive, and he'll go far with an attitude like that.

My advice to him is the same I give to any sales person, heck, to any business person: stop abusing the language with goofy jargon and phrases that sound impressive only to those who use them and ridiculous to those who have to listen. It's verbal abuse and benefits no one. I suggested to my caller that he rewrite his script to ask his prospects if they would consider purchasing V Chocolates as gifts for clients and customers. Isn't that how normal people talk? He did agree, and even thanked me for the advice. No charge, I said, and I would now probably buy some again this year. And I have. I think their chocolates are the best around and I admire the business itself.

One further note: if I was his boss, I would have had him write a note and maybe include a coupon or a small sample as a follow-up (he had my card with all my contact information). That's sales plus customer service, costs next to nothing and builds huge amounts of good will as well as ensuring further sales. And that's what the company really wants, isn't it? Small things can pay enormous dividends.